The Days of Getting Nothing Done

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Okay – I just looked at the clock and it's almost noon. Where did my morning go?  What have I even been doing? I haven't showered, I'm wearing glasses and sweats. My hair is thrown up in a bun. Sydney is still in her pajamas.  There are piles of clean laundry on the couch and piles more in the laundry room waiting to be washed.  In every room the carpet is littered with toys and blankets and shoes and hats and paper and diapers.  My kids will be home in an hour and I haven't even frosted the brownies that I started making yesterday and I told them I would make on Monday.  So seriously, what have I been doing all morning?  

Well, I have fed Bennett three or maybe it's been four times.  I have changed an equal amount of diapers. I made breakfast for all the kids and ate a little here and there, while looking for cash to send to school with one of my children, and barking out reminders like "Did you put your lunch in your backpack? "  "Do you need me to sign your reading log?" Also, I dealt with and eventually defused  an emotional breakdown performed by child number two.  I drove my children to school because they missed the bus.  I wrestled a screaming two year old into her carseat--a feat that required all my strength plus assistance from two of her older siblings.  

I have held and burped and cuddled Bennett.  I have put him in the swing and listened to him cry himself to sleep while i frantically did the breakfast dishes, and rotated laundry.  And that's about it.  Oh, and write this post.  and the only reason I got to write this, is because I can speak it into my phone while feeding Bennett.    

I am not wishing away this time. I love cuddling our new little Bennett.  I love having a new baby in our home and the sweetness he brings.  But i have a very bad habit of basing the success of my day on the number of things checked off on my to do list, so I keep getting frustrated with my lack of productivity.  I know this time will go by very quickly.  And it won't be long before I can get a lot more done in a day.  And I will look around and wonder where has the time gone and miss my tiny little boy. But these days, a lot of times when I look around I just feel like crying. (Hormones, exhaustion, messy house ) So I guess I'm just trying to find a balance between enjoying the moments and still making sure our family is functioning.  And making sure I get a shower at least one in three days.